Sunday 30 December 2012

Make Your 2013 Vision Board - 7 Easy Steps


Simply put, a Vision Board is a poster size “collage” of images and words which depicts the vision you have for your life. It is not an arts and crafts project. I encourage many of my clients, both male and female, to use this technique to access goals, values, actions and needs they sometimes find difficult to articulate verbally or in the written word. The Vision Board is the end product of an intuitive and creative process that can be enjoyed and referred back to when you need focus or encouragement.

I’ve seen articles about what “right” way to make  vision board, but I don’t think there is a right or wrong way, it’s a very individual project and you need to find the way that works for you.

The key to a good Vision Board is be open to whatever comes up, trust your instincts, pay attention to the process of making it and have fun. I also would say think big, most of my clients limit themselves by thinking too small.


Step1:
Develop a clear idea of what you want this specific Vision Board to represent (e.g. work goals for 2013, parenting goals, giving or service goals, self-care goals, life goals, health goals etc. etc.-or everything together). My intention was to have a board that represented what I wanted for my work in 2013. I knew I wanted to get my book published in 2013, but there was nothing too clear beyond that. However by doing the board all the supporting actions became apparent.

Step 2:
Choose about 4 or 5 magazines you think are interesting and relevant to your 2013 goals. Don’t think too hard; just pick the ones which jump out at you. Also pick a board in any colour that takes your fancy.

Step 3:
Go through the magazines and just rip out the pages with images, titles and quotes that speaks to you, or evokes some positive or empowering emotion or feeling. Also, keep your focus on the intention for the board. In this case what you want for your life in 2013. Again, don’t think too hard, just keep ripping, you can always triage later. I would suggest doing this in one sitting to get momentum. You will know when you have enough material.

Step 4:
Mock up or find online anything imperative to the board you did not find in the magazines. I (tentatively) mocked up a cover of the book and added the desired publisher’s logo to the cover. I also found a 2013 header I liked and I would suggest adding a picture of yourself as it puts you in the scenario and vision.

Step 5:
Cut out everything you found from the ripped pages. Start to look at what you chose and see if there is anything that surprises you or if there are patterns emerging. By looking at some of the phrases I had chosen I started to see that it was time for me to take real, strong and meaningful action.

Step 6:
Start pasting the images onto the board. I sometimes find the larger images can anchor the corners and then smaller images can overlap the larger. Take your time with this, but I would suggest doing this in one sitting too. You will start to see themes and groupings and you can paste relevant images together. It really is up to you and what makes sense to you.

Step 7:
Admire your work, focus on your intention and understand what your actions need to be to realize your goals. Some of the images evoke a feeling or thought for you but may mean something different to others, but don’t worry... it’s your board and you can show it, or hide it, from whomever you please.

If anyone wants to share their boards with me, I would love to see them. You can email them to me at priya@prkcoaching.com.

Happy Vision Boarding and Happy Planning!

Sunday 16 December 2012

A Call to Arms

I watched the news all afternoon, I stayed up late and watched more, then turned on the TV over my morning tea and bagel and watched some more. I was trying to get my head around what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on that cold near winter’s morning.

It seems like this sort of person-on-person violence is escalating, but is it really? People have been harming people for millennia in the name of religion, power, land, natural resources and material wealth. This happens everyday all over the world, in fact on the very same day as the sad events in the US, a man entered a primary school in China and stabbed and wounded 22 children. It is reported that several of the children had severed fingers and ears! Are we just seeing more of this because we have access to rapid and numerous forms of communication?

Then we look at the heartbreaking fact that bystanders on the Time Square subway platform had 22 seconds to help Ki-Suck Han climb off the tracks before he was hit and killed by an oncoming train … but they did not reach out to him.

I ask myself what is going on? We can blame guns, lack of education, the slackening of moral values, the absence of religion, etc. but I think there is something more fundamental missing. I think we are losing personal connections and support. Whilst I am a huge proponent in my work for personal responsibility, I do also feel that it is a personal responsibility of each and everyone one of us to help our fellow man in the best way we know how. Any little act of kindness will help.


This all starts at the grass roots level. And this is why I have called this blog entry “A Call to Arms”. It is our responsibility to reach out a hand to, or put our arms around, those who might need our help or support. Sometimes a hug is all we need. We don’t always need people to fix our problems or issues. We just need to know people care, are around and that we have been "seen".

People just want to feel safe, and this will be the biggest challenge parents of the surviving children at Newtown will face when supporting their children in the weeks and month to come.

At the same time, those of us who feel obliged to step up and take a stand against this increasing dissatisfaction and discontent with each other should find ways to be as vocal and as involved as we are comfortable with. It’s time to band together and raise our “arms” and “fight” as “warriors” going into “battle” for a peaceful world.

Wednesday 5 December 2012

Giving Without Losing Yourself

In the spirit of the Christmas season, I have been thinking about how we give to others and how we can sometimes lose ourselves in the process. I used to want everything to be “right” at Christmas time. In an effort to make Christmas “perfect,” I used to do all the shopping not only for the presents I would give out, but for my whole family. I started by helping my grandmother buy everyone else’s presents, which I enjoyed and was more than willing to do as she was in her late 80’s, virtually blind and almost bedridden. But then, in an effort to have everyone happy with their gifts, I escalated to buying my mother’s and sister’s presents for everyone in our family, which even included buying my own gifts from them. Not only was I losing myself in all this “giving”, but I was getting resentful. I was also depriving them of the gift of giving. It came from a good place – or so I thought – but in the end, I was miserable because the pressure was too great.

I find that so many people derive happiness for themselves only when others are happy, and they will do anything to control this situation. In the above example, I wanted everybody else to be satisfied with what they received so I could be happy. I saw it as my responsibility to make everybody happy. However, in truth and with hindsight, it was not at all my responsibility what my sister gave my mother; it was hers. I was getting involved where I really should not have been.

So, we want to give to charities, others, and our families, but let’s give ourselves permission to give from the heart. Because we want to, not because we think we have to. This makes the experience far more genuine and fulfilling for the giver and receiver. If we feel ourselves giving to prove we are good people, or because we think we have to, then we need to step back and rethink our motives. Who are we really doing this giving for? If it is to quell our anxieties, because we are afraid to say no, or to try to impress others, we are not actually giving. We are taking.

So this season, give from the heart...because you want to.

Wednesday 28 November 2012

Engagement, Sans Agenda

In the dictionary, there are many meanings of the words “engagement” or “to engage.” These can range from a marriage proposal, to entering into a conflict, or a contract between two parties. But the description relevant to this discussion is that of enjoying and being fully vested in communication with another.

In this busy and competitive day and age, I seem to go from one networking event to another where I find myself (and the people I meet) sussing each other out for potential work opportunities or contacts. These events are always so hurried.

Last week, I went to a little gathering with four other people affiliated with a U.S.-based service group. Though we shared the same interest in serving our communities, we had not met each other previously. We came from different backgrounds and age groups. Whilst at first I worried we may not have much to talk about, I found myself completely engaged in the conversation and stories. We were not sizing each other up for work, or trying to pigeonhole each other. Instead, we simply listened and conversed. Discussions ranged from the IRA campaign in London and the experience of living through that time; to moving from Washington State to Rome to Nairobi; to the subtleties of living in Africa. What I noticed the most was how calm, comfortable and engaged I felt. It was so nice to just be.

I was reminded of a trip I took to India a year ago. On passing through Old Delhi and I saw a group of men, who clearly lived on the streets, sitting on the side of the road and engaging in conversation. Though their situation was much more destitute we could ever imagine, the smiles on their faces reflected the pure joy they seemed to receive from each other. I remember being amazed by their happiness and engagement in that present moment.

This all has made me consider the notion that some of us forget to relish the company of others, sans agenda. Technological advances have transformed our mode of communication into rapid snippets, just to stay ahead, and sometime I feel we can be deprived of the beauty of long conversations and time spent enjoying each other’s company.

I am not saying that we should turn back the clock of time. I only hope that we consider just being with new friends, engaging in conversations, and not feeling guilty about doing so! It’s not a waste of time – I would hasten to say that it only enhances our ability to listen to and appreciate others. It gives us the space to step back, enjoy and maybe see new experiences available to us all.

I’d love to hear your takes on this idea. When was the last time you simply engaged with others, sans agenda?